once

once, i was not healing

i was healer

i was toddler

i was laughter

was relief of the burden i carried

when my mother carried me

i was fat-in-the-cheeks

grits smashed in the seat

like the floor and the face

everywhere but the plate

and it was really damn cute

or so they tell me

once, i was not grieving

i was weaving

i was shading

i was tracing

leaves of trees for grades

and braiding grass blades

i was lying on my back and

i was flying

butter-flying

i was watching

as they wrapped up in cocoons

inside my third grade classroom

i was them

and i knew it

i just didn’t know it yet

once, i was not leaving

i was born-ing

new-becoming

i was lace roots

i was new juice

i was grapefruit in the morning

i was volume-up and song-ing

i was dancing with my mirror

backward, clearest

my reflection’s ever been

once, i was not missing

i was living

i was willing

i was pulling out’ the driveway

with so little on my mind

i was prime, lemon-lime

i was two-sheets-to-the-wind

never-going-back-again

i was road ahead and innocence

once